1. |
coat
04:36
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in which two deer embrace
if i could say the words
and make it all for real
would it make the wind more soft,
change the way your burning fire feels?
if i could say the words
that make it known for good
would it be a waste of breath,
explicitly what we both understood?
but in a world of white
your coat is mine overnight
if i could find the words
to call the angels over us
halos, oh so round and bright,
the only other witness to our love
we’ll put aside the words
race through the hidden streets
hooves will fly like birds in fright
we notice that there's no more ground beneath
but in a world of white
my coat is yours overnight
but in a world of white
this coat
with my head to your heart
head to your heart
as beats slow down to seconds apart
i never speak
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2. |
be my cardiographer
04:30
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in which gabe gets lost again
i’m falling for guys in glasses again
i melt when they’re passing by, still i tend
to bury hands in the pockets of this oversized jacket
on the same old subway in a different town
but i still can’t fucking find my own way around
i really need some kind of guide to let me know
if what i need, and what it takes
is just to learn from my mistakes
it’s been so long since i haven’t felt shame
i’ve changed so much, i’m still the same
flattened map, loaded guns
only i need someone
to be my cardiographer
so when conditions get rough, i'll know where i can land
there's a skittish animal afraid of the light
and it’s made a home out of my insides
boy, it makes me know when to call it there for the night
freeze in place when the headlights find me
everything that could go wrong, will, in time
gotta stop the bastard from gnawing in the dark
and i’m overdue to raise the stakes
but there's too much i have to fake
it’s been so long since i haven’t felt shame
at least i know where to put the blame
so on i live, and still i pray
someone will find me someday
and be my cardiographer
so when conditions get rough, i'll know where i can land
there must be something wrong with my heart
oh it beats in time but
when i lay down to rest
i can feel it try to break out of my chest
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3. |
playing pretend
02:55
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in which raph says goodbye
wearing a flower in gold harvest swelter
olive branch antlers
held tight inside both hands
the rulers of the land
hope by some miracle forces will fail
the river runs still
and the sun stops in her chart
no more gravity to keep things apart
and if you can believe i’m that leaf on the breeze
flying to where you can see
you can almost forget
we live in separate worlds
keep the grass underneath
and under the same heat
i will find you again
in our separate worlds
can we keep playing pretend?
can we keep playing pretend?
i care about you, you're my friend
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4. |
antler crimes
04:44
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in which two deer share a dance
almost at the point of throwing it in
just want to be small as possible
to turn invisible for just a little moment
world’s too physical, i feel every bone when
everyones moving oh so confidently
and envy, it builds inside of me
you said for once you were gonna take a chance, just
really thought you could choose not to be anxious
shut off something that keeps you up every night
when you lay for long enough that
it pulls you under like nothing before
can’t talk for shit, that's something i’m sure
but i snap back, and he’s waiting, looking at me
in my heart, i know he’s not about to leave
till we get one song together
(god, you’re out of your turf, you should have known better)
but with a tug i know that i’m tethered
frozen and helpless now
until he goes:
“what to do, isn’t it a little late for you?”
and i say:
“up to you, no i guess i’m never really up this late…”
and i’m a dancer trying to figure out the hoof-work
aw man! i’ll go until i feel it hurt
so i was never gonna come off that impressive
yet i think i’m sort of getting better, when he says:
“hey, answer, have you ever had a lover?”
our antlers almost touching each other’s
and i can’t speak, i’ll fuck it up, and then i’m done for
i think i need him closer for comfort
i can’t speak, i’ll fuck it up, and then i’m done for
i think i need him closer for comfort
“if you’re sure”
never got good at reading emotions
i’m dying for the clearest sign he might care enough to
take a chance on someone so clueless
over anything, i need to pull through this
big light in the sky i wished on for years
i’m feeling somethings changed
the night, the night, with all my might!
for it is the first time of my life
i see, i glow, in the moon’s pale light!
deep in another’s eyes
say:
“there's so much to do, i don’t mind staying up a little late for you…”
no time to think it through, i always wait till it’s too late
and I’m a dancer, locking into the hoof-work
i’ll stamp my prints deep into this earth
so what if i’m not that impressive?
i’m not even close to catching up to where my breath is
“and hey, i think we could be good lovers…”
our antlers bumping into each other’s
and, ok i'll bite, what’s a prey without a hunter
i’m gonna need you closer for comfort
yeah, i'll bite, what’s a prey without a hunter
i’m gonna need you closer for comfort
“i’m so sure”
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5. |
world of white
07:30
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in which the storm moves west
deep in the woods,
we meet a beast with eyes that hunger
from old tales,
when we were many winters younger
and the stones move
and the trees sway
with its breathing
kick up my hooves,
charge at the monster in the dark
with desperate hope,
it’s unaware my teeth aren’t sharp
let me be hurt
let me be terrified and bruised
for i just know that you’re too much for me to lose
and i won’t be apart from you
i wake up first,
the world more violent, unrelenting
and the sky,
with every flake it keeps on sending
as it blankets
as it smothers
with his eyes closed
but i brush it off,
and i drag him back into the living
hold him close,
say we’ll stay warm, if we stay moving
help him up
and we’re even weaker when we stand
but i will try for as long as his heart’s still beating true
as if i’m a part of you
so maybe we’re just a little lost right now
but see all the lights that shine just for us deep through the trees!
we’ll tear a pathway through this world of white
till they’re glowing overhead
and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm and you are warm
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6. |
gabe's song
06:09
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in which raph is relocated
loosely melting the snow down from the mountainside
you know this gun’s for hire, but i don’t have the strength left to hide
a single storm can only do so much ‘till all the clouds are dry
so what a lovely sight it is to see that final flake fall by
we’re only working for the man, but tell me honestly, is he giving you a hard time?
the climate froze up so much, i’m surprised you hadn’t switched to part time
but now the weather looks so pleasant, do you want to take this conversation outside?
it’s slightly different round these parts, so if you need a hand to hold, you can take mine
from the start, it seemed we were never really free
but now you know where you can always reach me
not every dying animal’s a lesson to be learned
all the fables in our memory were way too unconcerned
so let’s set up a quiet burial for two who lived but never got to speak
lay them gently in the dirt beneath
take the time to paint the crosses god is holding back for us
i like just watching you in focus, while you’re rolling back your cuffs
if only you had moved here sooner, but in some other life we never even met
or, was it always set?
from the start, it seemed we were never really free
but now you know where you can always reach me
but now you know where you can always reach me
and every hanging message that i send i'll try my hardest not to think you’ve lost your love for me it’s the closest that i’ve ever been i know i’m always paranoid it’s an aspect i try to avoid but fast as i can run away this tail is still a part of me and when you do get back to me and send a heart upon my screen i'd trust you with my own and let you guide me to that open sea and i could be the elpenor to your loyal perimedes and though those men were all condemned the stars tonight shine favourably so be my cardiographer let me know my heart's condition tell me my astrologer upon which light should i be wishing ages that i waited just to see you in the flesh and could i count on one hand all the times we’ll meet before our deaths but now you’re here and breathing next to me here and breathing next to me i swear one day this fear is gonna be the bitter death of me but here and breathing next to me is you intact and presently one thing i know for certain is:
"it’s more than what i'd ever thought it’d be"
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7. |
contend
03:18
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in which the deer migrate
these parts are unrecognisable now
the spot where you were gonna ask him out
two watery eyes darting all around
never stopped being frightened by sound
through the falling leaves
we thunder, far across the land!
and with you in my sight
sure hope that things all come as planned!
cause who knows,
how can i contend by myself when i’ve seen
how it’s hard enough just to be around?
and so i’m off to where my friends will be found!
that night we stuck together in the crowd
and me, so scared to say the words out loud
two watery eyes darting all around
whispered that “i love you” now
I had it figured out
now i feel a bit less confident
but now the earth is firm
let’s run like we’re both fawns again!
cause who knows,
how can i contend by myself when i’ve seen
how it’s hard enough just to be around?
and so i’m off to where my friends will be found!
and we’re falling behind, but the second before
we pick up speed to catch up with the rest
i see you smile at me
“oh, we’re in for a cold one but we’ll make it through i guess!”
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bit depth Toronto, Ontario
bro how do you like, uh, install plugins and shit on garageband i can't figure it out
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